


He's Maid For The Job

by grapeflavoredorange



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Brainwash, Crack-ish, Crossdressing, Gen, Humor, Mementos, Post-Okumura's Palace, god i wish you could work there, i got this idea after taking the twins to the maid cafe, in progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:00:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25254247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapeflavoredorange/pseuds/grapeflavoredorange
Summary: Brainwash is one hell of a status ailment.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	He's Maid For The Job

**Author's Note:**

> hello i have nothing to say except persona 5 would be so much better if you could work at the maid cafe in akihabara but atlus is a bunch of cowards and hates fun

Brainwash was one  _ hell  _ of a status ailment.

It could mean anything from attacking teammates to throwing away money or medicine. With spells such as Amrita Drop or Energy Shower, it could be cured instantly, but if it wasn’t cured immediately during a battle, it could last longer. After a while, it was easy for the Phantom Thieves to cure it easily. It was easy to get rid of and was more of a joke than anything else, but sometimes, it stuck. And sometimes, it could result in something worse than attacking teammates.

☀ ☀ ☀

Azkeriyyuth was a huge area, with a lot of enemies.

The Phantom Thieves knew that. It was a day or so after they had finally stolen Okumura’s heart, and were now waiting for the eventual change of heart. Joker was as confident and clever as ever; driving with one hand on the wheel and the other in his hair, listening to his teammates’ silly conversations while swerving past Shadows, the usual. Skull was watching Fox doodle in his sketchbook, Panther and Noir were playfully teaching Queen the basics of wearing makeup, and Oracle… wait, where was Oracle?

“Hey, where’d Oracle go again?” Joker asked, suddenly remembering his pseudo younger sister’s absence. Skull looked at him, confused. “Dude, you should know better than anyone,” he said. “She’s got a fever. Remember? Boss told you.” Joker nodded, remembering. “Right. And he wanted me to watch the store for a few days while he took care of her… right.” Skull placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You alright, dude? That’s like, the easiest shit to remember. You sure this ain’t a story and this ain’t just being used for exposition?” They all laughed. “No way,” Panther remarked. “We’re already in a game, stupid. There’s no other reason for Skull to say that, right?” 

They all laughed.

Then they crashed.

Into a Shadow. 

“Joker! How could you be so careless-” Queen started, but was caught off-guard by an incoming purple ray- was it Sleep? She didn’t know, because she was suddenly pushed out of the way by Joker, who took the hit instead-

And all of a sudden, it was over.

“Joker! Queen! You alright?!” came Skull’s voice from a few feet away. Looking up, she noticed him running towards them, and his face falling at the sight of a passed-out Joker in her arms. “What’s wrong with him?” he asked. Queen shook her head. “I don’t know, I think he’s got an ailment…” She trailed off, and then looked at the Mona Car, then back at Skull, who nodded. “I think getting him back home is more important right now,” she said. “It’s not like we’ll have to explain it to Boss, who’s-”

“Taking care of Oracle, who is unwell,” Fox finished for her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I can hear more Shadows coming. We should leave.” They all nodded at each other, then carried Joker back to the car, driving as fast as they could without waking him up.

☀ ☀ ☀

“So, what’s wrong with him?” Ann asked as soon as they laid him down on his bed in Leblanc’s attic. Akira was still fast asleep. Makoto and Ryuji exchanged worried glances with each other, then looking back at Akira. “When do you think he will be up?” Yusuke asked, gently pushing Akira’s fringe aside and feeling his forehead. “He does not seem to be sick, but I am worried about how long he’ll be out for… He does have school after all.” Makoto sighed. “If he doesn’t wake up by tomorrow, I can probably make an excuse for him, but…” she started, thinking hard and looking around the room. “What do we do until then? And what did he even get hit with” Morgana jumped off the bed and stretched, looking around. “No clue. It was purple, wasn’t it?” he asked. The Thieves nodded. “Well, maybe it was just Sleep?” he suggested. Haru shook her head. “No,” she argued. “It was more pink. I think it was Brainwash…” They all grew silent for a while, before Morgana spoke up. “Whatever it was, we’ll just have to wait and see. While we wait. maybe we could spend some time cleaning up? He never does. I mean, look at this place.” He flicked his tail at the shelves, covered in dust. They cringed. He was right. 

Suddenly, they heard a noise from the bed. Spinning around in place, the Thieves looked at the bed to see Akira sitting up and rubbing his head, groggy. “Akira!” Ryuji and Makoto exclaimed, relieved. “You alright?” They sat still, watching Akira rubbing his eyes and looking around, confused. They waited anxiously with baited breath, waiting for him to say something, waiting, waiting…

Suddenly, he stood up and stared at the floor, blushing furiously. “G-good afternoon! I-I mean evening!” he stammered, causing them all to stare at each other in shock. “I’m so sorry for my little snoozing off there! I promise to make it up to you in any way I can!!!” 

They exchanged horrified glances with each other, then looked back at Akira, who was standing upright and patiently, as if waiting for a cue.  _ What the eff did they do to our leader?  _ Ryuji mouthed at Makoto, who simply stared back at him, mouth agape, clearly not knowing the answer. “M-Master? Is something wrong?” came Akira’s voice from the bed. Startled, they all turned back to look at him, looking awestruck at what they had heard. “Sorry, did I hear you right?” Ryuji asked, his face reddening. “Dude, are you okay? How bad did you get hit?!” Akira shook his head. “I feel perfectly fine!” he said, sounding slightly less nervous. “You seem to be the unwell one! Can I get something for you?” 

Ryuji looked at the group, seemingly at a loss for words. When they said nothing, he turned back to Akira almost reluctantly and sighed. “Uh, I guess I could use some coffee right now?” he said, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “You don’t have to though…” Akira shook his head and smiled. “Of course, Master! I’ll be right back!” With that, he bowed and headed downstairs. 

It was silent for a moment before Ryuji finally cut the silence. “Dude. What. The. Eff.” Morgana jumped onto the bed and stretched, looking up at him. “That seems as good a place to start as any,” he said. Makoto placed a hand on her chin, thinking. “What do you think might have caused this?” she asked. “Do you think it could have been when Morgana mentioned cleaning?” Yusuke nodded. “That does make some sense, but this is the real world. The mention of cleaning wouldn’t have changed his cognition that strongly unless we were in the Metaverse.” Ryuji just shook his head. “Dude, I know that Brainwash can eff you up for a while, but seriously?! Does he suddenly work at the maid cafe or somethin’?” Ann snickered. “I mean, I thought you’d be thrilled,” she said. “I think it’s pretty weird, but I thought you loved that place.” Ryuji glared at her. “Yeah, but not when it’s our leader doin’ that shit! It’s impossible to enjoy it when I’m so used to him bein’-” 

“I’m so sorry for the wait! I’ve brought you your coffee, Master!” 

Ryuji was cut off by the unsettlingly girlish sound of Akira’s voice from the stairs. Turning around, he saw his friend carefully holding a cup of coffee and a saucer under it, beaming. “Uhh… Thanks?” he said, accepting the drink and taking a sip while Akira looked on hopefully. “Is it good?” he asked, anxiously wringing his hands. “I made it just the way you like it, Master!” Ryuji nodded, cringing. “Yeah, it’s great, but do you really gotta call me that?” he mumbled. Akira gasped and placed his hands over his mouth. “I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed. “If it makes you uncomfortable, then I’ll stop immediately, Sakamoto-senpai!” 

Ryuji felt his face turn red. “Actually, y’know what? Master is fine.” he said, hearing the others snickering behind him. “Uhhh, I don’t have anything else I want you to do though…” Akira just beamed at him. “That’s fine! Thank you for letting me take a break! I promise I’ll do my best to repay you, Master!” With that, he bowed again, and then immediately flopped onto his bed and passed out.

“So, now what?” Ryuji asked, turning to face the others. Makoto shrugged. “Beats me,” she said. “I think it’d be best to leave you and Morgana to sort this out.” Ann stood up, nodding. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Besides, I’ve got the perfect thing for Akira back at my place. I’ll bring it back tomorrow!” Yusuke raised his eyebrows. “What is it, Ann? Leblanc already has plenty of cleaning supplies.” Ann just smiled. “Oh, I know that! You’ll see!” She started towards the stairs, Makoto following her. “Bye! I’ll see you all tomorrow!” With that, they were gone, leaving Yusuke and Ryuji in stunned and confused silence. “I guess we just gotta wait until tomorrow then,” Ryuji mumbled, looking at his phone. “Oh, crap, the last trains for the night are comin’ up.” He looked up at Yusuke, who looked nervous. “Don’t worry, I’ll give you some cash for your ride home.” They nodded, and set off, leaving a very confused Morgana alone in the attic.

“Oh, Akira…” he whispered, watching his friend sleeping. “What did we do to deserve this?”

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed this, please let me know with a kudos or a comment! thank you!


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